Motivation!

05:10 Unknown 0 Comments

现在的我，很努力很努力。很努力往上爬，很努力把功课搞好。我不知道为什么我能够那么积极，那么希望成绩好。也许一半的原因，是因为他功课好，我真的想追上。虽然我知道有点不可能追得上，但是至少把他当成一种激励也不错。

反正现在这种情况，对我来说没有坏处，至少我有一个目标，想要追上去。我不知道自己现在的心情是怎么样，喜欢？不喜欢？朋友？暧昧？暗恋？我自己也不知道。可是走一步算一步吧。现在的我什么不想奢望，真的真的只想把First Year的成绩考好，然后顺利上Second Year。

希望这4年都可以好好顺利毕业。虽然一路走来很累，现在的路很坎坷，朋友方面也有问题，感情方面也有问题，有时候觉得自己在原地打转，不知道要怎么办。真的希望，人可以没有感觉，什么都感觉不到。

人生没有十全十美，要加油！要加油！

0 comments:

My tuition free week aint working!!!

21:12 Unknown 0 Comments

Tuition Free Week ain't Holidays.

Owkay. Time flies. I did do a little bit of revision but I don't feel like I'd done enough. Will be going for a camp named John Curtin Weekend on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. So basically I'm gonna used up most of my time there and bye-bye for these three non-revision day. That's why I need to catch up before I go to camp. But a lot of things happen. Mind-fucked. Stress. Frustrated. Annoyed. Emotional.

People gotta learn to pull themselves up sometimes. You couldn't rely on other people too much. It's okay to be alone. There are stuff that you can't rush. Time shows everything. Be patient. That's all I would say. But it's your choice to make that choice.

不管怎样，还是要加油。真的。人生就是不断的学习，在别人把你推倒的时候把自己扶起来。

加油。

0 comments:

看开了

11:04 Unknown 0 Comments

我觉得我开始把他当朋友了，无所不谈，很要好的朋友。

开始觉得，当朋友真的不错。你不需要去害怕伤害对方，不需要害怕分手，更不需要害怕失去。学会祝福，你给的祝福越多，上天会给你更多的回报。祂只是想把最好的留给你，在最美的时机，遇见适合你的人。世界那么大，总会有人爱你。:)

不管怎样，现在最重要的，还是先把书读好。完成自己想做的事。学会靠自己。爱情，可以等。

我要加油。我的人生，还在等着我。

0 comments:

Time is all I need.

08:59 Unknown 0 Comments

Owkay. Too much stuff in these few weeks. I just need a lil bit of time for myself. Calm myself down and avoid doing stupid things. I'm giving myself too much pressure. Learn to give, and stop complaining. Everything happens for a reason. Never look down on yourself. Treat everyone the same. Breathe in and out whenever you couldn't think. Calm yourself down. If you wanna cry, just cry it out. If no, suck it in and life moves on. You just gotta live your own life. I used to tell myself to choose a way to live my own life. My choice affects how my life would be. Grow up. Be mature! You still have a long way to go. Stop relying on anybody. They won't give a shit. Just grow up.............

0 comments:

Letting go.

21:08 Unknown 0 Comments

Congratulations.


Knowing both of you got together as a couple wasn't easy for me. Especially when I'm having my exam on next week.This eventually makes my mood down and become much more emo than before. 

Hey, seriously you don't have to tell me everything, 'Cause I'm not curious in what you do to him and what he do to you. You don't have to emphasize that he's you new boyfriend. It hurts me. I never knew I could fall for him these much. Maybe he knows too much of me, and he can accept it. I have no idea but I do like him. I don't know why but I feels like he's one in a million. But not for now, because he's taken and not available anymore.

I don't have trust issues towards anyone I meet. But now I do. I don't know who to trust anymore. I feels like everyone is just lying to me. Sometimes I just wonder do I look stupid? I'm a forgetful person but I still have memories. You can't stop me from thinking. Things you've told me before, things she had told me before, things you did before, it's all in my head. And I feel like I'm going to collapse soon. 

I'll stand up no matter what. I know how I want my life to be. I have a choice. A choice to stand up or break down. A choice to love or hate. A choice to let go or keep holding on. 

And my choice? Move on and let go.

Today is the last day I'd ever find you. Just give me a few more days to cool down. 

0 comments:

有时候…

05:24 Unknown 0 Comments

有时候，我真的想要人陪。

你说我外表坚强，内心却很脆弱。可是，你却没有在我脆弱的时候陪着我。我知道我们认识不久，可是那个时候你给我的感觉，就是你明白我受过的伤害，你知道我的很多事情，你说到好像你会保护我。可是到最后，什么都没有。

我真心感觉你喜欢她，从行为举止，说话方式。现在不是谁先遇见谁，谁就会爱上谁。说到头男人还是视觉系动物。你说她漂亮，说她需要人照顾。可是你不知道，我也需要，只是我不说，也不会表现出来。因为我知道，自己如果不坚强，懦弱给谁看。我受过伤，我坚强一路走来。你知道的，并不是所有事情，真正令我受到最大伤害的事，你不知道。

我讨厌你对她好，对她温柔体贴。在爱情面前，谁不自私。可是我又不可能破坏人家的感情。所以我真的讨厌爱情，你不知道你什么时候会遇到对的人。你觉得你遇到了，结果却并不是。本来我真的没有想恋爱，可是遇见你好像打开了我的心房。可是你却狠狠的走开，把门狠狠的关上。现在的我懦弱无助。看来这次我又得自己疗伤了。;')

不管以后怎样，祝福你们。我，退出。

0 comments:

Lately.

23:13 Unknown 0 Comments

Lately was a disaster.

Never knew I'll met him. Never knew I'll know him. Never knew I'll get hurt. 
Things started too fast and I couldn't stop myself from falling in. At least I admit it. He does makes my heart race. But now, it's time to stop. I don't care that you like older and mature girls. But one thing about girls is that, they want themselves to be special, your only one.

I won't care that my boyfriend got a thousand female friends, as long as to him, I'm the only special one. I won't care that my boyfriend hangs out with female friends, as long as he doesn't betray me. Well, maybe you are not the one, and I'm not your The One.

I know I'm strong. I've been through shits. EVERYONE BEEN THROUGH SHITS. SO DON'T EVER COMPARE HOW MUCH HURT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH. You weren't there when I got hurt, you never seen me hurt. You know nothing. So don't ever compare. People gets hurt, YES THEY DO! The only way to save yourself is to stand up! Drowning yourself over emotions won't help. I knew this 'cause I've been through it. Well, maybe that's why he left, 'cause he got that person to take care. 

My emotions have been dragging me all along this week. And I couldn't think properly having these emotions around me. And I've become, not me. I feel like shits. I feel that I'm not myself and I talk shits. Offending people 'cause I hadn't really give myself a space to think. I'm sorry for what I've done. Ones should be responsible and accept every consequences to whatever they've done. Ones shouldn't take granted for the opportunity given. Appreciate it! Remember what you've learnt and please do not make the same mistakes again. Be a better person. Forget about shits, and move on!

Next week will be better. Just keep moving. Do what you should do. Achieve whatever you want. Remember how you want your life to be, Being single  makes you stronger all the way long and you'll learn not to depend on others. Save yourself. 

0 comments:

Hello Tuition Free Week!

09:07 Unknown 0 Comments

Finally, It's free week!

I'm tired and exhausted. School stuff and club stuff. No time to breath AT ALL!
Well, time for me to breathe! Hoorayyyyy!! I need to catch up with my school work within this whole week and prepare for my exam after this free week. 
Why does school always do this to us students? Having exam right away the holiday is nightmare as you don't really have time to enjoy yourself to the fullest. Okay, I'm not that kind of genius so I know I will have a very hard time catching up with those shits. 
Engineering Programming was the hardest i guess. Writing in codes in PC and compile it and run it into the system. OMG! I'm not interested in IT mannnnn! And sometimes i just ask myself why do i need this. The introduction there says this Programming stuff makes your life easier. But dude, it just made my life harder!!
It is cool in some ways. Urghhh! 
The other unit which gives me a pain in the ass is EFDP. Don't ask me what unit is this because I wouldn't wanna explain. Stakeholders report is making me all dizzy and blur.I have no idea what am I doing until now. And it's already week 5! Wake up!!! T_T
I still got another lab in hand. Electric system. Wow, all these AC DC stuff. Im not into these electrical stuff. so....hmm......! Obviously E&E wouldn't suit me. HAHAHAHA! Time to get my ass ready and fight!! 

Free Week = Study week = Jia you!!

0 comments:

Here goes butterflies..

04:45 Unknown 0 Comments



You gotta stop whatever you are doing before I really do fell for you.

Well, it's still not the right time for me to start a new relationship but it's fine to have someone you really like right? But you doesn't want them to know and you doesn't want to start any relationship with them. Ok, am I being normal here? Who the fuck wouldn't want a relationship with someone they really fancy? Anyway, that's what I thought tho. I wouldn't want to hurt anybody right now. I wouldn't even dare to think whatever LOVE WILL LAST FOREVER stuff. 'Cause it just doesn't. Instead of him being hurt, I prefer to be the one who hurts. Trauma after the last relationship? I guess so. 

I'm the type of person who would think of the things that might happen in a long run IF I ever have a boyfriend. I keep imagining him looking hurt, i keep imagining myself to be his burden, I keep imagining shits! This is just what the fuck. Too much negative thinking. I just want my life to be back to normal, the way it used to be before I even met my EX! But whatever, 'cause I couldn't turn back the time. So MOVE ON BITCH! 

Here goes my butterfly, flying in the sky...........

0 comments:

You just crossed my mind.

05:17 Unknown 0 Comments



You know what, bitch?

LOL! You've just crossed my mind. Was eating pizza with family just now, and i turned and saw sushi king. Suddenly I've remember how we've used to have this cravings for sushi, and went for sushi together. So I texted you. :P Well, you're heading to Brunei tomorrow so it's Okay. We can still hang out for sushi anytime! Just as long as it's before you go to study.

I still remember back in secondary, i've made you cried cause I pulled your chair and you fell down the moment you want to sit on it. And the guy you fancy was there with us, and you cried. XD Opps! Sorry. My bad. =X And we used to hang out taking buses down town, taking photos, selfies, spend so much money on our 大头贴....Mannnnn, I've missed every single moment. ;(

I remember how we used to text each other, talking about gossips, ask about homework. We text each other more frequent during exam period, asking how both of us were doing, what are we studying, until where we study....All these simple little memories. I hope time could turn back but shit happens, it just doesn't. 



I missed the moment where we always go to your house, sitting at your front porch, chit chat, playing with your pups. We  bathe them, got ourselves soaking wet, got back to school for classes after that. I still remember how we don't pretend ourselves in front of each other, saying:"Hey, I feel like farting!" "Hey, I got my underwear stuck in my butt! Cover me until I pull it out!" How we burp in front of each other like nobody business, running under the rain and complaint how we got our shoes soaking wet and is fucking uncomfortable, how we always talk shit behind a teacher we dislike/hate. Hey babe, you know I love you right? ;( I just feel comfortable around you, 'cause you don't mind me talking bullshit with lots of crap, foul language or what. 'Cause you know me best. You know who am I. Thanks.

Heard you said you gonna go west msia on the end of this month, my heart suddenly go heavy. I just hate goodbye. I know you'll be coming back on holidays and we'll still be meeting each other, but yeah. Still goodbye. All the best babe. Take a really good care of yourself. Eat your breakfast/ lunch/dinner on time and don't starve yourself! Don't say your lazy or whatever! Don't let anyone bully you! Don't go home late! Lock your room door all the time! Keep your belongings safe! Gosh, I sound like a mother. LOL.

I'll miss you! I know you can do well over there. :)

0 comments:

Thoughts for the month.

07:15 Unknown 0 Comments




每个人都会经历一段故事，一段瞬间让自己成长许多的故事。


每个人都会遇到一个人，明明喜欢却不能爱上。唯独远远遥望，保留最完美的他。


孤独，可以让一个人的思想成长，就算他知道这一切并不好受。


爱情可以很伟大。它可以让一个人放弃一切，就算幸福很遥远。




0 comments:

Please stop the time!

06:03 Unknown 0 Comments


Time is running ;(

I don't wanna go back to school.

School is going to start soon. All my units are in moodle already. All those lecture notes, assignments, report..they are all coming back. I was excited for the school to reopen but i don't know why, now that I doesn't even want to go back. What I thought is just tortured, suffered and all other kind of shits. Am I stressing myself?? Pressure much?? I don't know. ;( For now, I just wish I could stop the time, or even turn back time.

I just went through one of my unit, Electrical system. The moment I read it, i was like, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? AM I REALLY TAKING THIS SHIT? Sighhhhhh!!! God, please help me get through this. I just don't know what the hell happened to me. Am I having too much fun? ;( 

Looking back at my timetable, packed schedule. Seems like I'm gonna allocate some time for jogging and exercise. At least some time to let myself sweat a little bit, releasing my stress. Sigh!!! Arghhhh!! Damn!!! 

Fine. Just follow the flow and get through it. Jia you bah!



0 comments:

That's how you enjoy your holiday!

06:48 Unknown 0 Comments


Looks like we just have to enjoy our life like there's no tomorrow.
Do what you gonna do and you feel like doing.
Whether you'll regret it or not. #well, that just comes after ;P

Thoughts sharing.

First of all, yeah. Holiday can be kinda boring sometimes, when you just stay at home doing nothing at all. Sometimes i just lay down on my bed, play few songs through my laptop, and be like that for a few hours. Boring right? But I feel comfortable that way. Have no idea why, but, yeah, that's just me. Driving out going somewhere alone is just too troublesome and emo for me. 

If I really got nothing to do at all, I'll just read. Had been reading My sister's keeper lately, after I've finished Beautiful Darkness. I couldn't find the third book, which is Beautiful Chaos. So I'll leave the fourth book until I managed to get the third one. ;) AND! The Faults in Our Stars is out! I asked my friend living in Ipoh to help me buy the book there, since I couldn't find it in Miri as well. And he managed to buy it! Hooray! Big clap for him. Teehee. Anyway, Thank you!!

 Second of all, been trying to make my own breakfast. I made Chicken Focaccia Sandwich today. Personally, I like Focaccia because of the rosemary fragrance. How can pastry chef come out with such cool and delicious pastry? I've gotten myself a recipe of Focaccia, so if I'm free enough, I think I might try making it. 

Well, Tadah! Sorry that you couldn't see what's inside cause' the spinach is covering it up. 

First attempt, not bad. Or maybe I made it myself, so I feel satisfied about it. HAHAHAHA! Tomorrow I'm gonna make french toast! And it will be awesome! Just wait for it :3

Been watching Vampire Diaries lately. Part of my To-do-list at home. I'm in Season 3 now. Damon is hot, Tyler is hot, Matt is not hot! Sorry Zach's fans! But I don't likey Damon's hairstyle in Season 3. His hair got longer and look so sloppy. Please cut your hair ;( Stefan is hot too, but i prefer Damon get together with Elena. Sorry, I'm with the bad boy style. XD Caroline is just prettttttyyyyyyyy! She looks hot, sweet and cute in every way. HAHAHA! 

Results coming out tomorrow @ 5pm! Trust me, Imma stuck in front of my lappy keep on refreshing on our school website. They better be punctual! I'm kinda excited. It's not that i'm confident for not failing any one of my subjects, but I'm still excited! Duhhhh, it's my result! It decides whether my Sem 2 will be awesome or be like "Welcome To Hell". Pleaseeeeeeeeee pass all subject! I promise i'll work harder next sem! And I seriously mean it. :D

I guess that's it for today's sharing section! Adios! 


0 comments:

Just feeling awesome :3

06:14 Unknown 0 Comments

My fav group photo :)

Sometimes living in town just makes me feel stress..

Even when I'm having my holidays, I still feel kinda stress staying at home doing nothing. It's not really nothing since sometimes I fill up my time reading. I just like to get away from town and go into the jungle. It really calms me down, relax my mind. There are things you just couldn't get out from your mind. They're there, just there. And it stresses me out. Only when I'm with nature, I forget stuff. These trees, these leaves, these green stuffs...It just feel awesome. 

Sometimes I go jogging in the morning, it makes me feel fresh. Exercise does help I guess. My target: 5 rounds non-stop! One round is about 800m. So 5 rounds make it 4km. Now I only manage to run 3 rounds non-stop. I've been improving. I couldn't even finish one round last time. But when you know you are doing better than last time, you feel great, superb!! 

I've met a uncle while jogging around bulatan park. And he told us that they are organizing an event, it's like a marathon i guess. It's on 14th of September. For girls session, we need to run for about 3.7km up Canada hill, and I feel like joining. But I can't find anyone to join it with me, yet. I wanted to challenge myself. YEAY! I just feels excited. :P So, hope I can join though. ;)
We are almost there!

Nice scene!

I cant believe Miri can be this green!

Just ignore me being a fatass.

Girl's power!


0 comments:

Don't Love.

04:35 Unknown 0 Comments

Don't love...

Don't love if you know you're gonna hurt someone.
Don't love if you think you're a burden for someone.
Don't love if you think there are stuff much more important / serious than having a relationship.
Don't love if the other him / her don't love you, cause' you'll end up hurting yourself.

So the best way of having both of you free from being hurt, is just simply don't fall in love.

Sorry for being a dummy falling for you. Life is so much more than just falling in love. You are not the only one. I'm not the only one. Eventually I'll find someone who will love whoever I am. Accept every single inch of the badass-ness inside of me. And I think, that person will not be you. You'll find a better one, and that person will not be me. ;)

0 comments:

是时候收心了。

08:50 Unknown 0 Comments


People just don't get enough.

人，就是犯贱。

人就是犯贱，我也犯贱。是时候收心了。有些事情，错就是错。有些东西，不是你的就不会是你的。自己要清楚自己要的是什么。自己要每天提醒自己，Focus on your goal! 不可以让别的东西阻挡你的道路。Be motivated!! 

我知道有时候做选择的时候会矛盾，但是真的，不要再犯贱了。;(

人生就是要加油！

0 comments:

Self-reliant camp

20:18 Unknown 0 Comments

 CV ROCKS!

Went to east wood valley to attend a self-reliant camp as Curtin Volunteers(CV) last Saturday and Sunday. It's awesome! I've learnt a lot of new stuffs from both the organizers and the kids. All the kids are so cute and adorable. Thanks for giving me this chance to be one of the volunteers.

Basically, this camp is a self-reliant camp. It involves giving sex education and eye protection program for the kids. Their aim is to train the kids to be independent and learnt to appreciate everything their parents done for them. Our parents work very hard to give us everything we need. Losing either one of them will be very heart breaking. The organizers showed those kids a video about a guy in Taiwan who lose both his arms and legs during his work. He said the moment he woke up in hospital realizing he already lose both his arms and legs, he felt nothing. He don't feel sad even though his mother was just sitting next to his bed crying. He said he looked at his arm for a very long time without feeling anything. After that incident he needs his family to feed him, bathe him and everything. He thought and thought and realized this is not the solution. That is the moment he start to think of a way to feed himself. He design a spoon that can fit into his arm so that he can feed himself. He became a very famous artist anyway. He manage to use his mouth to paint paintings. Very impressive. 

"He didn't give up his life in his darkest moment and why should we? " I told this to myself after I watched that video. I still have both my arms and legs and my condition was way better than his. Why should I give up? Why should I start stressing out myself when I get into problems? WAKE UP!! 

That is the moment I thought to myself. Even though you think you are old enough to know everything, but sometimes you just don't. Even kids can think way better than you, kids can be more mature than you. So joining this camp is awesome. It gives impact in my life. Such a great experience. :)

We had fun playing games with all the kids. We even babysit few kids at night. HAHAHA! Well, they are very cute indeed. Wish them good luck in the future and gambateh! ;P

Nice meeting you guys!! 

Group photo with all the kids and organizers.

My team!! (Black Team)

Red Team

Yellow team.

Blue team

Green team

0 comments:

Im scared sometimes.

09:01 Unknown 0 Comments

Don't let the fear swallow you.

Sometimes I'm just scared..

Sometimes I'm just scared, scared of losing something or someone. Why blame me? I know I've got a choice back then. I made my choice but nobody cares. I hate waiting. Sometimes I just scared that I waited and waited and get no reply. And sometimes I'm just hate myself for being care so much when somebody might not even care. 


Sometimes I just hate myself...

I hate myself for being so doubtful. I know I shouldn't think too much about it, being doubtful about how people really feels towards me, being doubtful whether they actually hated me, being doubtful about did my decisions pleased them, doubtful about everything. I don't want to lose anyone because I'm just being too doubtful. I hope they understands. Well, those who really know you does stay by your side I guess. Those whom I don't have to feel doubtful, cause' I know they'll be by my side when I need them.

Friends don't have to be 24/7 by your side..Cause' they understand.

Chase away everything and be myself. Everything has its right or wrong. 

Just be strong. 

0 comments:

怕是怕…

09:03 Unknown 0 Comments


怕是怕，走了对你最真实的人…

上了大学才知道，身边对你真实的人不多。有的选择利用你，有的选择无视你、鄙视你、伤害你。有时真的不知道什么时候才能对一个人卸下心防。不知道为什么这个月真的很伤感，想起很多东西。但是又觉得自己应该好好过生活。得知朋友要到吉隆坡升学，心情更加低落。瞬间才觉得：“啊！原来是这样的感觉。"

虽然说只是去读个书，你也可以骂我说又不是不回来。但是当你感觉到你失去的并不是朋友，而是那些对你最真实的人，你就会明白为什么离别会如此伤感。缘分这个东西，很搞怪。你也不能保证，几年后大家还是能够见面；也不能保证，他们还会不会回到当初这个地方。先是舍不得，后是想念。真的，我开始舍不得了。


有些朋友真的可以和你很好很好。感恩可以认识你。他们看得到你的优点，把你的缺点转换成优点。他们了解你，知道你为人，知道你对朋友如何。所以，知道你受委屈了会第一个站出来为你打抱不平，把欺负你的人骂得稀巴烂，发誓看到他不会让他好过。他们会帮你分担，喜怒哀乐，不让你的背包背得那么重。在你不知道怎么做，适当的给你建议。在你需要肩膀，让你靠。找不到人陪你，会第一个站出来。

“回忆就像排不掉的毒…” 谢谢你8年来的陪伴。



这帮疯子。虽然认识你们只有两年，但是感恩。和你们做过那些疯狂的事情我不会忘记。我这个人没有很好，但是谢谢你们接受这样的一个我。

突然真的觉得很舍不得。





“请你继续拥有那阳光般的笑容。”





给你们的几句话…

到了新的地方好好照顾自己。大学生活不简单。认识来自不同地方的朋友，教会你的东西也不一样。对别人不要单方面的好。不要被欺负，要坚强。伤心、压力、不开心，电话随时接。生活也许会难过，但是随时提醒自己，你们可以的！等你们回来！

谢谢你们的出现。
有你们真好。

0 comments:

Attitude is Everything.

09:04 Unknown 0 Comments

Life before University & After.

There are a lots of things that you'll learn after you start your university life. The first few weeks are just normal. You went to campus everyday, go to lectures, attend tutorial class and make sure you never missed it, meeting new people coming from everywhere. I thought everything was okay, until things start to get worst. People start to show their true colours, whether they are just using you. And you just have to endure it. Misunderstanding and argument between course mates just add in much more pressure and stress to your life. Conflicts that never happened before happened. I have never encountered such conflicts before during my secondary. And now I'm dealing with it. Please! You are not that mature, so don't act like you are mature than anyone of us. You are just childish in solving your own problems. Dragging everyone down and adding more and more problems. Please! Grow up! I know I'm 20 and I'm not very mature too. But at least I know how to solve my own problems! We just couldn't please everybody. Anyway, I'll probably be meeting the same kind of people next time when I get out of this society. And I hope by that time I know how to deal with this kind of people. People in University just sounds so complicated. Maybe it's because we all come from different places and have different mindset on the things happened around us. Haters gonna hate though. I don't care whether you hate me or not cause' I don't lose anything by losing you. So back off, coward! 


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