What is the date already?
Ok. Just joking. It felt like a thousand year since I last visited my blog. I read all my old post and realize that I've become the old me, the weak, needed-protection me. And I don't like the feel of it.Hello!
I guess it's been a year. So hey! We were together! And today is the 428 days together. We've been through a lot, all sorts of ups and downs, and mostly when we argue, it's because of me thinking too much. And I really admire the single-me, where I always think positive, strong, independent, knowing "man ain't your life vest". Where are the old me?
I know there are a lot of stuff I gotta change, especially the thinking-too-much personality. LOL! But hey, I don't know what's got into me, I'm just scared. And well, a relationship needs two person, so basically I don't think I should take all the blame. You haven been letting me feel safe enough, staying around you. I still feel that maybe after sometimes, someday that you would leave me. And that doesn't feel good. I start to get emotional very easily, maybe sometimes become annoying. So please bare with me. I know I'm not your typical ideal girlfriend, but trust me, you can't ask everyone of your girlfriend to be perfect. No one is perfect. Yes, you changed me. You make me become more hardworking, trying hard in getting better result in every semester and I've improved. And yes, you taught me to appreciate every single thing in life, family, friends, relationships. You taught me a lot. But when I read through my old blog posts, I realized, there was a better me, where I always keep calm and think everything straight. I cure my own scars, I cry alone and I fight alone. These makes me stronger. And your protection here, is making me weaker.
Maybe I should start to think what I really want. Stop being a child and start to grow up. I hate it when you said I'm acting like a child.
以前的我，知道自己要很努力，知道自己要让以后的自己过上好日子，要变有钱。
以前的我，知道自己会受伤，但是就算一个人也没关系，因为我要做女王。
所以以后的我，也要一样，女人要活得像女王，不管单身还是恋爱，不管自己有没有人照顾。永远不要依靠别人，不要把话说得太早。未来的日子还很长，自己要给自己做个保障。
加油！
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