School is going to start soon. All my units are in moodle already. All those lecture notes, assignments, report..they are all coming back. I was excited for the school to reopen but i don't know why, now that I doesn't even want to go back. What I thought is just tortured, suffered and all other kind of shits. Am I stressing myself?? Pressure much?? I don't know. ;( For now, I just wish I could stop the time, or even turn back time.

I just went through one of my unit, Electrical system. The moment I read it, i was like, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? AM I REALLY TAKING THIS SHIT? Sighhhhhh!!! God, please help me get through this. I just don't know what the hell happened to me. Am I having too much fun? ;( 

Looking back at my timetable, packed schedule. Seems like I'm gonna allocate some time for jogging and exercise. At least some time to let myself sweat a little bit, releasing my stress. Sigh!!! Arghhhh!! Damn!!! 

Fine. Just follow the flow and get through it. Jia you bah!

First of all, yeah. Holiday can be kinda boring sometimes, when you just stay at home doing nothing at all. Sometimes i just lay down on my bed, play few songs through my laptop, and be like that for a few hours. Boring right? But I feel comfortable that way. Have no idea why, but, yeah, that's just me. Driving out going somewhere alone is just too troublesome and emo for me. 

If I really got nothing to do at all, I'll just read. Had been reading My sister's keeper lately, after I've finished Beautiful Darkness. I couldn't find the third book, which is Beautiful Chaos. So I'll leave the fourth book until I managed to get the third one. ;) AND! The Faults in Our Stars is out! I asked my friend living in Ipoh to help me buy the book there, since I couldn't find it in Miri as well. And he managed to buy it! Hooray! Big clap for him. Teehee. Anyway, Thank you!!

 Second of all, been trying to make my own breakfast. I made Chicken Focaccia Sandwich today. Personally, I like Focaccia because of the rosemary fragrance. How can pastry chef come out with such cool and delicious pastry? I've gotten myself a recipe of Focaccia, so if I'm free enough, I think I might try making it. 

Even when I'm having my holidays, I still feel kinda stress staying at home doing nothing. It's not really nothing since sometimes I fill up my time reading. I just like to get away from town and go into the jungle. It really calms me down, relax my mind. There are things you just couldn't get out from your mind. They're there, just there. And it stresses me out. Only when I'm with nature, I forget stuff. These trees, these leaves, these green stuffs...It just feel awesome. 

Sometimes I go jogging in the morning, it makes me feel fresh. Exercise does help I guess. My target: 5 rounds non-stop! One round is about 800m. So 5 rounds make it 4km. Now I only manage to run 3 rounds non-stop. I've been improving. I couldn't even finish one round last time. But when you know you are doing better than last time, you feel great, superb!! 

I've met a uncle while jogging around bulatan park. And he told us that they are organizing an event, it's like a marathon i guess. It's on 14th of September. For girls session, we need to run for about 3.7km up Canada hill, and I feel like joining. But I can't find anyone to join it with me, yet. I wanted to challenge myself. YEAY! I just feels excited. :P So, hope I can join though. ;)

Don't love if you know you're gonna hurt someone.

Don't love if you think you're a burden for someone.

Don't love if you think there are stuff much more important / serious than having a relationship.

Don't love if the other him / her don't love you, cause' you'll end up hurting yourself.

So the best way of having both of you free from being hurt, is just simply don't fall in love.

Sorry for being a dummy falling for you. Life is so much more than just falling in love. You are not the only one. I'm not the only one. Eventually I'll find someone who will love whoever I am. Accept every single inch of the badass-ness inside of me. And I think, that person will not be you. You'll find a better one, and that person will not be me. ;)

人就是犯贱，我也犯贱。是时候收心了。有些事情，错就是错。有些东西，不是你的就不会是你的。自己要清楚自己要的是什么。自己要每天提醒自己，Focus on your goal! 不可以让别的东西阻挡你的道路。Be motivated!! 

我知道有时候做选择的时候会矛盾，但是真的，不要再犯贱了。;(

人生就是要加油！

Went to east wood valley to attend a self-reliant camp as Curtin Volunteers(CV) last Saturday and Sunday. It's awesome! I've learnt a lot of new stuffs from both the organizers and the kids. All the kids are so cute and adorable. Thanks for giving me this chance to be one of the volunteers.

Basically, this camp is a self-reliant camp. It involves giving sex education and eye protection program for the kids. Their aim is to train the kids to be independent and learnt to appreciate everything their parents done for them. Our parents work very hard to give us everything we need. Losing either one of them will be very heart breaking. The organizers showed those kids a video about a guy in Taiwan who lose both his arms and legs during his work. He said the moment he woke up in hospital realizing he already lose both his arms and legs, he felt nothing. He don't feel sad even though his mother was just sitting next to his bed crying. He said he looked at his arm for a very long time without feeling anything. After that incident he needs his family to feed him, bathe him and everything. He thought and thought and realized this is not the solution. That is the moment he start to think of a way to feed himself. He design a spoon that can fit into his arm so that he can feed himself. He became a very famous artist anyway. He manage to use his mouth to paint paintings. Very impressive. 

"He didn't give up his life in his darkest moment and why should we? " I told this to myself after I watched that video. I still have both my arms and legs and my condition was way better than his. Why should I give up? Why should I start stressing out myself when I get into problems? WAKE UP!! 

That is the moment I thought to myself. Even though you think you are old enough to know everything, but sometimes you just don't. Even kids can think way better than you, kids can be more mature than you. So joining this camp is awesome. It gives impact in my life. Such a great experience. :)

We had fun playing games with all the kids. We even babysit few kids at night. HAHAHA! Well, they are very cute indeed. Wish them good luck in the future and gambateh! ;P