新的一年

咳,今天元宵节。想到要开学了就让我特么的心烦。我不想要开学!

15天的新年很快就过去了。长大后,感觉新年越来越没气氛,新年也只是一般的休息日。正当其他人忙着拜年,我就只呆在家休息。也许是因为新年前为了做准备,打扫房子忙了好久,觉得累了。而且今年,才刚过年,很多不吉利的事情都发生了。大家都说,火猴年很冲。所以新的一年,不求什么,只求身边的人身体健康,平平安安。

这两天,爸爸妈妈都请朋友来家里吃饭,完全的忙翻了天。从早忙到晚,煮了好多样菜。结果,最怕的是什么,就是客人们散去以后,留下的剩菜怎么处理。咳咳,结果元宵节,就是吃剩饭剩菜。可是,有饭吃就应该感恩了。感恩!感恩!也感恩最忙的两天已经过去,开开心心迎接新的一个星期,然后下个星期就要回学校上课了!加油!

这3个月的假期,其实都有在忙学校Club的东西。嗯,我是很尽力的去做,但是难免会有些不愉快。身为我Department的组长,我觉得我很失败。属下很多事情其实没有透过我,就直接交上去给President。结果,变成我很多事情都不知道,Progress如何什么的,我也不知道。也许是我的领导能力不够,但是我真的是有在尽力。偶尔都会问问属下准备得如何,需不需要帮忙。是否我做得太少?我不知道。没关系,再加油就好。

今年22岁的我,到底可以创出什么样的成绩?生活了这么久,我领会了什么?学到了什么?成熟到底是怎么样断定的?有好多好多问题,都等待着答案。嗯,是到了需要为自己未来做打算的时候了。到底要继续升学,还是开始出社会打工,这两年我一定要得到答案。

为自己加油!

What is the date already?

Ok. Just joking. It felt like a thousand year since I last visited my blog. I read all my old post and realize that I've become the old me, the weak, needed-protection me. And I don't like the feel of it.

Hello!
I guess it's been a year. So hey! We were together! And today is the 428 days together. We've been through a lot, all sorts of ups and downs, and mostly when we argue, it's because of me thinking too much. And I really admire the single-me, where I always think positive, strong, independent, knowing "man ain't your life vest". Where are the old me?

I know there are a lot of stuff I gotta change, especially the thinking-too-much personality. LOL! But hey, I don't know what's got into me, I'm just scared. And well, a relationship needs two person, so basically I don't think I should take all the blame. You haven been letting me feel safe enough, staying around you. I still feel that maybe after sometimes, someday that you would leave me. And that doesn't feel good. I start to get emotional very easily, maybe sometimes become annoying. So please bare with me. I know I'm not your typical ideal girlfriend, but trust me, you can't ask everyone of your girlfriend to be perfect. No one is perfect. Yes, you changed me. You make me become more hardworking, trying hard in getting better result in every semester and I've improved. And yes, you taught me to appreciate every single thing in life, family, friends, relationships. You taught me a lot. But when I read through my old blog posts, I realized, there was a better me, where I always keep calm and think everything straight. I cure my own scars, I cry alone and I fight alone. These makes me stronger. And your protection here, is making me weaker.

Maybe I should start to think what I really want. Stop being a child and start to grow up. I hate it when you said I'm acting like a child.

以前的我,知道自己要很努力,知道自己要让以后的自己过上好日子,要变有钱。
以前的我,知道自己会受伤,但是就算一个人也没关系,因为我要做女王。
所以以后的我,也要一样,女人要活得像女王,不管单身还是恋爱,不管自己有没有人照顾。永远不要依靠别人,不要把话说得太早。未来的日子还很长,自己要给自己做个保障。

加油!

我们的第103天

在一起的103天

很开心2014年的8月份能够遇见你。还好是你,我总这么觉得。可是因为自己有时没安全感,常常让你不开心。但是我必须承认自己真的很爱你。甜言蜜语我听多了,承诺我也见得多了,所以总会觉得不安全。可是渐渐的,我开始让自己相信,相信你是真的。偶尔自己又开始胡思乱想,我总会想起你说过的话。你说过你会保护我,你说过就算你和其他女生朋友很要好,你会关心她们,你都不会跨过自己的底线。我记得。所以只要我有疑惑,自己心里难受,想想你怎么对我好,怎么爱我,关心我,我就会觉得自己比其他女生还要幸运。因为我有你啊宝贝。一直以来,都很希望是你陪我走到最后,一起慢慢变老。我不想再让自己再一次承受多一次的心碎,经历多一次失去自己最爱、最在乎的那一个人。有好几次一觉醒来,发觉所有的事情并不是在做梦,你真的是我的,真的在我身边,我都觉得好幸福,好庆幸有你,好感恩老天爷让我遇见你。

我很喜欢你

我很喜欢你,每次喜欢欺负我,明知道我怕痒,还总是喜欢作弄我,自己还在那里笑嘻嘻。真的很喜欢看你笑的样子,总觉得自己很少可以见到你那么大笑。

我很喜欢你,每次当我说我想吃什么,你都会带我去吃。可能不是这一次,但是下一次你一定会带我去吃。最喜欢和你一起吃饭,看着你吃饭的样子,我真的很开心。

我很喜欢你,把我的事情告诉你家人,说要把我介绍给你的朋友,感觉就好像被认定一样。喜欢你说你好想带我去古晋,吃遍你喜欢吃的东西,走过你喜欢去的地方。

我很喜欢你,很喜欢跟你一起看电影,看你喜欢看的连续剧。很喜欢在电影院挽着你的手。可是你怎么每次都不主动牵我的手呢?!

我很喜欢你,总是容忍我的坏脾气,吵闹任性。总是不会跟我大小声,偶尔哄哄我。有时候我无理取闹,无心伤害了你。宝贝,对不起。

我很喜欢你,很喜欢你为我下厨,在我累的时候给我拥抱,很喜欢你对我坦白,告诉我全部我不知道的事情。我喜欢的样子你都有。

我想要慢慢了解你,可能我不能做到最好,但是至少我会好好爱你。

谢谢你总这样宠爱着我。

Motivation!

现在的我,很努力很努力。很努力往上爬,很努力把功课搞好。我不知道为什么我能够那么积极,那么希望成绩好。也许一半的原因,是因为他功课好,我真的想追上。虽然我知道有点不可能追得上,但是至少把他当成一种激励也不错。

反正现在这种情况,对我来说没有坏处,至少我有一个目标,想要追上去。我不知道自己现在的心情是怎么样,喜欢?不喜欢?朋友?暧昧?暗恋?我自己也不知道。可是走一步算一步吧。现在的我什么不想奢望,真的真的只想把First Year的成绩考好,然后顺利上Second Year。

希望这4年都可以好好顺利毕业。虽然一路走来很累,现在的路很坎坷,朋友方面也有问题,感情方面也有问题,有时候觉得自己在原地打转,不知道要怎么办。真的希望,人可以没有感觉,什么都感觉不到。

人生没有十全十美,要加油!要加油!

My tuition free week aint working!!!

Tuition Free Week ain't Holidays.

Owkay. Time flies. I did do a little bit of revision but I don't feel like I'd done enough. Will be going for a camp named John Curtin Weekend on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. So basically I'm gonna used up most of my time there and bye-bye for these three non-revision day. That's why I need to catch up before I go to camp. But a lot of things happen. Mind-fucked. Stress. Frustrated. Annoyed. Emotional.

People gotta learn to pull themselves up sometimes. You couldn't rely on other people too much. It's okay to be alone. There are stuff that you can't rush. Time shows everything. Be patient. That's all I would say. But it's your choice to make that choice.

不管怎样,还是要加油。真的。人生就是不断的学习,在别人把你推倒的时候把自己扶起来。

加油。

看开了

我觉得我开始把他当朋友了,无所不谈,很要好的朋友。

开始觉得,当朋友真的不错。你不需要去害怕伤害对方,不需要害怕分手,更不需要害怕失去。学会祝福,你给的祝福越多,上天会给你更多的回报。祂只是想把最好的留给你,在最美的时机,遇见适合你的人。世界那么大,总会有人爱你。:)

不管怎样,现在最重要的,还是先把书读好。完成自己想做的事。学会靠自己。爱情,可以等。

我要加油。我的人生,还在等着我。

Time is all I need.

Owkay. Too much stuff in these few weeks. I just need a lil bit of time for myself. Calm myself down and avoid doing stupid things. I'm giving myself too much pressure. Learn to give, and stop complaining. Everything happens for a reason. Never look down on yourself. Treat everyone the same. Breathe in and out whenever you couldn't think. Calm yourself down. If you wanna cry, just cry it out. If no, suck it in and life moves on. You just gotta live your own life. I used to tell myself to choose a way to live my own life. My choice affects how my life would be. Grow up. Be mature! You still have a long way to go. Stop relying on anybody. They won't give a shit. Just grow up.............